


Larger than Life.

by harryflocka



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ghost Niall, Human Harry, M/M, Narry - Freeform, also there is no actual smut here, and niall can move between realms because he's niall and he can do whatever he wants, ghost au, i only proof-read the first half, so sorry for any mistakes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-26
Updated: 2014-06-26
Packaged: 2018-02-06 09:08:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1852426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harryflocka/pseuds/harryflocka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>"Besides, I'm pretty sure my Unlimited Texting cellphone plan only applies to the land of the living." - He mumbled surlily. </em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <em>"Thought so. But that's why I got you this!" - Niall exclaimed as he procured a board game from who-knows-where, handing it to Harry with a proud look on his face. </em></p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <em>"A Ouija Board? Seriously, Niall?"  </em></p><p> </p><p>--</p><p>If Harry thought that dating a ghost would be enough to fulfil his life-time quota of weirdness, he was wrong.  This becomes evident when his Very Dead boyfriend has to go away for the weekend and presents him with a slightly peculiar alternative to sexting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Larger than Life.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel morally obliged to write something here although I am not sure what. It is quite ironic to talk about my morals, though, when I'm about to upload a fic about a human and a ghost attempting to sext via a Ouija Board. You'd think by now I'd have thrown any pretence of even possessing those out the window. But, hey, how does that quote go? It was something along the lines of: "You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one who thinks about Harry and Niall fucking each other senseless."
> 
> Thanks for reading this extremely-short one-shot. This never happened. Don't try this at home. And if any Attractive Male Ghosts who died before the age of 30 are reading this, feel free to flicker my lights or rattle my furniture any time. 
> 
> x

"But Niall!" - Harry frowned - "Do you have to visit your family the _one_ weekend I am **not** swamped with coursework?" 

He knew he was being petty, but he couldn't be blamed for wanting to spend some quality time with his boyfriend, especially not when they'd only just (read: 6 months ago) discovered how to touch each other without one literally falling through the other (well, most times. Harry still had a bruise from 3 days ago, when he'd tried to sexily push Niall against a wall and the latter had gone through it, resulting in Harry's forehead roughly connecting with the white surface). 

"I do, I'm sorry, babe." - He wasn't - "But the last time I stopped by the Other Side was a year ago, which, coincidentally, is how long we've been dating for." - Niall shot a pointed look at Harry - "Besides, dad said me granny's been dying to see me."

Harry didn't find it funny. This wasn't the time for ghostly puns.

"This is not the time for puns, Niall. Besides, I'm pretty sure my Unlimited Texting plan only applies to the land of the living." - He mumbled surlily.

"Thought so. But that's why I got you this!" - Niall exclaimed as he procured a board game from who-knows-where, handing it to Harry with a proud look on his face. 

"A Ouija Board? Seriously, Niall?" 

"What? I'm offering you a solution, and a free game, ya' curly brat." 

Harry looked at his boyfriend sceptically. 

"Oh, come on, Harry! I heard all the kids are doing it." 

Harry's gaze didn't waver. 

"Okay, I'm bullshitting you. But would it _kill_ you to at least try?"

"Okay, fine." - Sighed Harry - "I'm not saying it will work ( _It will, babe!_ ), but even if it did, that still doesn't solve the problem of you ruining my very romantic plans to shag the un-life out of you this weekend." - He crossed his arms over his chest petulantly. 

"Well, I'm sure we can work something out." - Niall said, looking back and forth between Harry and the game, a filthy smirk overtaking his features. 

"What are you- Oh, for fuck's sake, Niall! You're not suggesting... Please tell me you do not want to sext using _this_." - Harry could feel his eyes popping out of their sockets as he pointed an incredulous finger at the offending board. 

"First of all, the correct term is "Ouext", or it is until I can come up with a better one." - Niall shrugged - "And secondly, is a Ouija Board suddenly too freaky for the boy who had my ghostly dick in his mouth and let me shoot my ghostly come down his throat not even an hour ago?" - He quirked an accusatory eyebrow at Harry. 

And, okay, there was no point arguing that one, specially considering that the slightly salty taste still lingered in Harry's mouth.

"Fuck... fine. I guess we could give it a shot" - Harry sighed, defeated and not at all surprised at his weak-willedness. 

Niall beamed. 

"But," - he continued, poking his boy in the chest with his index finger - "if anyone hears about this I'm going to kill you, Horan. To death." 

"Wouldn't want that, love. I promise I won't sell the story to the Deadly Mail." - He deadpanned. 

Harry sighed, again. He'd already lost count of how many times he'd done that during this conversation. He reckoned far too many for this to be a good idea. 

"How are we even going to do it, though?" - He eyed the Ouija Board suspiciously, only turning his head away from it when he felt Niall's hand caressing his cheek. 

"We'll make it work, H. Just like we always do." 

 

-

Harry spent the majority of the following day jumping from one mundane task to the other. 

He'd woken up at a disgustingly reasonable time, and had eaten a Balanced Adult-Worthy breakfast while listening to the Saturday Morning Show. Afterwards, he'd busied himself with sweeping and dusting and folding and polishing, and basically doing the most Normal things he could think of to make himself feel better about the fact that soon he would be sitting with his dick in his hand attempting to have Long-Distance sex with his Dead Boyfriend via a Board Game. 

Thing is, Harry wants this. He'd assured Niall of this ad nauseum last night before the latter left for the Other Side. He's just a bit wary of the reliance of the Ouija Messaging System because, what if something goes wrong? What if an ancient evil spirit manages to pass over to This Side and decides to torment Harry for the rest of eternity? Or, worse, what if there's a problem with the connection and Harry obliviously ends up dirty-taking his dead grandmother Gloria? He's pretty sure she wouldn't appreciate it and that she would somehow make sure his mother heard of it. 

Either way, he's not gonna back out now. Niall and him had agreed on a time last night, there being only a 6 hour difference between them (who would have thought, huh?). He'd spent a few minutes before going to bed reading up on Ouija Etiquette and the like, and so at 9 pm on the dot he sat on the bedroom floor, pants down, legs spread and the board game placed between them.  
This was without a doubt the weirdest thing Harry had ever done, and he was already a little turned on, to be honest. 

He placed both of his hands on the planchette, careful not to apply too much pressure to it. 

"Ni?" - He asked to the empty air. 

He felt the planchette shake slightly under his fingers, and so he lifted them up, and in amazement watched as the pointer slowly moved by itself, landing on the "Yes" at the corner. 

"How can I be sure that it's really you?" 

The pointer started moving again. 

" _C-R-A-I-C._ " - Harry read out loud - "Oh, it's you alright." - He rolled his eyes just as the pointer moved to the right. 

_W-h-a-t-a-r-e-u-w-e-a-r-i-n-g._

"What am I.... oh come on, Niall!" 

The bottle of lube levitated and hit Harry square in the eye, eliciting a string of curses from the younger boy. "And here I thought lube was supposed to reduce pain" - He muttered.

_T-o-u-c-h-u-r-s-e-l-f._

Harry hesitated for a second before he reached between his legs and started to slowly stroke himself. 

"I can't believe we're doing this. Wait, are you touching yourself too? Can we video-chat with this thing?" 

_I-w-a-n-t-t-o-b-i-t-e-y-o-u-r-n-i-q-q-l-e-z._

"You want to bite my 'niqqlez'?" - He raised an eyebrow, still attempting to pay attention to his dick. 

_O-o-p-s-t-y-p-o._

Harry used his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose to stop himself from throwing the bloody game out of the window. 

"Niall, I don't think this was such a good idea." - He looked at his dying boner with a truly apologetic look in his eyes. - "Let's just wait until you come back on Monday." 

_O-k._

Harry was sure that if the Ouija Board came with emojis, he would be receiving a sad face emoji from Niall right about now. Or, knowing Niall, maybe it'd be an aubergine emoji with a little gun pointing at it.

"Love you, yeah? It was sweet of you to try." 

_L-o-v-e-u-t-o-o-B-o-b-b-y-s-a-y-s-h-e-y_

"Tell him I say 'hello' back. Goodnight, babe."

And with that, Harry put the game back in the box and the box at the back of his closet. He went to bed orgasm-less but with a smile on his face, and the knowledge that at least he had a boyfriend who was always trying to make him happy. 

 

\- 

"Honey, I'm home!" - Niall's cheerful voice announced from (from the sounds of it) the living room. 

It took Harry two seconds to drop the half-eaten toast to the kitchen floor and run into the arms of his boyfriend. Which would have been very romantic and rom-com worthy and whatnot, hadn't Harry gone straight through him and fallen on top of the coffee table. Because of course he would. 

"Easy babe!" - Niall said as he helped him up - "You know you need to give me a couple of seconds to focus before attempting to touch me so unceremoniously." 

"Yeah, I guess one dead person in this couple is more than enough, huh?" - Harry rubbed the back of his head with the hand that was not around Niall's waist. 

"Did you miss me while I was gone? My granny says hi, by the way. Told me I should bring you over sometime, but I don't think she understood that me killing you would probably cause some serious tension between us. I reckon she probably hit her head really hard before dying or something." 

"Well, you can use your game to tell her I say hi back. Maybe you'll be faster on this side than you were in the other." 

"What do ya' mean?" 

"Putting two words out there took you the same amount of time it usually takes me to say three entire sentences." - He explained - " _Me_ , Niall!" - He pointed a finger at his own face to really drive the point home. 

"Well, you try jerking off with one hand and moving a wooden board with the other. See how you like it." - Niall retorted - " 'sides, I'm pretty sure that Irish guy with the moustache and the fart-fetish was spying on me."

"How 'bout I try jerking _you_ off with one hand and using that triangular wooden plank for _another_ thing with the other?" - Harry smirked, completely ignoring Niall accusing James Joyce of voyeurism. 

"How 'bout I spell things out with my tongue this time?" - The Irish ghost practically purred as he grabbed Harry's hand and dragged him to their bed.

And all it took was Niall running his hands up and down Harry's legs before parting them slowly, pulling his pants down and using his tongue to trace love declarations between his thighs, for Harry to forget all about ouexting, and ancient evil spirits, and his dead grandmother Gloria.


End file.
